Social Media in 2020 for Enneagram 9's
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
My mom would say that to my siblings and I often enough, I probably thought it was a Bible verse. Finding out “God helps those who help themselves” is NOT a Bible verse was actually a little shocking later in life.
I’m an Enneagram 9. I have spent a large part of my life avoiding confrontation and passively (sometimes passive-aggressively) keeping smooth peace on all sides of my little boat. I used to be a peacekeeper. Most would agree, those types of peace negotiations tend only to “keep” the peace to ourselves. It has been just a few short years (lessons in marriage, with kids, at work) that I’ve learned to practice healthy communication skills as a peacemaker. I think it’s important for Enneagram 9’s to “make” peace around them and share it with others instead of “keeping” it for themselves.
At any rate, social media has been rather violently un-peaceful lately. In case you hadn’t noticed. Part of me was wondering why I felt so detached from the multiple platforms over the past weeks and months (US election, pandemic, etc). Instead of joining in, even positively, on any of the the many comment threads, posts, photos, videos that have turned the internet into a swirly mess, I have retreated further and further into offline.
Why wouldn’t I jump at this giant chance to make peace? Is it because I have no opinion? No comment? Am I regressing back to my “peacekeeping” days? Am I following my mom’s advice all these years later?
Possibly. But when I take time to reflect, I realize I’m not holding in a bunch of Not Nice things. In fact, I don’t think I really have anything rude or violent or abrasive or obnoxious or disruptive to say about the latest election, the pandemic of shut-down, wearing masks, not wearing masks, counting votes, or not counting votes.
Does that mean I don’t have an opinion? Having an opinion (apparently any opinion online lately) is extremely disruptive. I don’t think we can even agree that the world is round anymore. I’m sure gravity is a figment of my imagination and the sky isn’t actually blue. I do have opinions on all of these things, but I have absolutely zero desire to shout them from my social media soapbox.
I now realize I have simply rowed my boat into calmer waters.
I now realize that my opinion can be separate from fact, but my opinion does not affect fact.
I might have an opinion on voter fraud, global warming, regenerative ag, Indigenous land rights, lives that matter, whether a heartbeat is a baby, and more. But my opinions don’t actually change fact. No matter how loud I shout or how many people I convince to join my Opinion Team.
I’m an Enneagram 9, remember? This is not about forming Opinion Teams. This is about making peace. So what’s a 9 to do on social media these days? I would encourage us to identify places where there are gaps between opinions and facts. And learn to be a bridge. If you can bring someone from their opinion into fact (or if you can walk away from fact to try and understand their opinion), bridges will be built.
Maybe Enneagram 9’s are meant to be the bridgemakers of social media. Not bridgekeepers. We are not guardians of bridges that already exist… we can help to create bridges for others where there was previously just a chasm of shouting and frustration. Make a bridge and share it with someone.
